music is love is drugs.
Being used never made me feel useful.
It made me feel temporary.
I often take form as the magazine in the waiting room, while you wait for something better to finish what it’s doing.
I’m aware of it. I accept it. I maintain the silence that gives you comfort. I don’t ask for anything special for that. I don’t seek a reward. There’s still life in impermanence, albeit brief. I’ll live while I can. Sometimes you don’t get to choose. One of us doesn’t know better. I’ll spend the free time I have in between your brief visits trying to figure out exactly who doesn’t. You appreciate me like you appreciate a fan in 90 degree weather. That’s fine. Although they end up on the sidewalk familiarizing themselves with garbage cans and stray cats, fans serve a purpose. I’ll give you all the comfort you seek in that time span.
Junot Diaz on Q TV
Craig Mack - Flava In Ya Ear
I never asked for anything I wasn’t willing to give the second the question was posed. I never asked for help to just benefit myself. I’ve got that useless sort of pride that only benefits my ego. I asked when more than one smile was dependent on it. I never said I was perfect. I said I could see ahead better than most, that all of the commotion in the middle didn’t obscure my vision a bit. But I did end up questioning my sight. I never said I was grown. I said I was trying to grow. I said I needed your help to grow. I never said a lot of things. I ended up regretting that lack of speech. That’s why I never seem to shut my mouth now. Because in silence, there’s room for interpretation, but you can’t smell the flowers. And when those flowers wilt you’ll never get a chance to say the things you should’ve said. Interpretation is beautiful. It’s artistic. It’s an ellipsis. However, it’s not the truth. It’s not concrete. It’s uncertainty. It’s fear. It’s anxiety. It’s long term confusion. It’s the monkey on your back. It’s the weight on your shoulders. It’s not a storm, it’s hurricane season. It’s a one way ticket of a Greyhound bus with no destination. It’s a lack of answers. It’s a “what am I doing” 2 A.M. phone call to beg for clarity. It’s the ending of there even being an ending. It’s finding comfort in the fact that there is no comfort. It’s the highway with no exits, just rest stops. It’s the treadmill with a changing scenery. It’s your worst nightmare. It’s your misleading daydream. It’s a lucid dream you don’t want to wake up from. It’s chasing the high that never comes. It’s chasing a high that chases you. It’s sleeplessness. It’s alcohol. It’s a prize mounted higher than you can reach. It’s the unfairness of something you deserve not being given to you. It’s faith for faith’s sake. It’s your time waster. It’s the reason you don’t realize you’re in your best years. It’s the reason your best years don’t reach their potential. It’s the answers you look for in the bottom of empty beer bottles. It’s roach clips. It’s running. It’s wondering why you’re running. It’s the ever running mind. It’s the mind you wish would stop running. It’s anything but stagnant. Getting comfortable with the lack of comfort. It’s discomfort. It’s displacement. It’s a dismissal of normality. It’s the realization that normality is based off of perception. It’s reality. It’s far from home. It’s foreign pillows and sheets you’ve never met before. It’s never finding the right key on your key ring. It’s channel surfing without a chance to choose. It’s a car ride on a road trip, but you’re not driving. It’s trusting the universe. It’s trusting that you can’t trust the universe. It’s space for inquiry. It’s the overworked mind. It’s unfinished. It’s the lack of the ending parenthesis. It’s a fan in a wind storm. It’s a stutter. It’s a blank mind. It’s a never ending sentence. It’s a cycle. It’s useless. It’s forever. It’s never over. Never never never never never say never say never.
Okay I am about to leave McDonald’s and head back to our motorhome, so before I go, I’m making one final plea: PLEASE reblog the shit out of this. Even if you can’t contribute, and trust me I KNOW how difficult times are right now, PLEASE help me out with a signal boost. Don’t donate any money unless you can absolutely afford to, but if you can donate please feel free to send me an address (anon is fine) so my kids can send you a lovely card.
For those of you who don’t know the situation, my kids, myself, and my kids’ dad have been homeless for 2 months. We are currently living in a broken-down motorhome with no electricity and no plumbing. We use our truck to tow the motorhome to parking lot to parking lot when we get told to move on. The truck broke down Saturday, and without the truck, our motorhome is at risk of being impounded. Which would mean we’d be back to sleeping on the streets. All the truck needs is a new power-steering belt, installation, and a tow to a body shop that does belt installations.
I have been in remission from lupus and cancer since October, but since we’ve been homeless, I’ve been having arthritis flares. Getting the truck working is essential not only for the sake of our motorhome, but also so that I don’t have to walk to work. John and I own our own business, where we work 60 hours a week each. John also has a second job and is looking for a third. I have been looking for a second job fox six months and have an interview tomorrow. We don’t get any food stamps, childcare assistance, or housing assistance (duh on that last one).
Donations will be used to get our truck running, and if anything is left over, to get the electricity and plumbing in our motorhome sorted out. This would make a huge difference for my family— It’s not easy going 2 months without electricity or running water. Any help is appreciated, and if you can’t help, I completely understand but PLEASE help out with a reblog. Thank you so much!!!
hey yall this is my best friend. i’m just going to put it out there in case somebody can sympathize and help her out. she’s homeless with two kids under age five and trying to get by the best she can.
Just a squat of the rare kind.
Anonymous asked: 82 69
I don’t even know what these numbers are for. :(